I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

I feel like it is their decision. They were not bothering me before hand. I doubt they will now. The only difference is that they now get LEGAL benefits that everyone else is entitled to. I do not see why ones life partner can not be entitled to the same insurance because of some idiot saying "YOU CAN'T HAVE INSURANCE BECAUSE YOU ARE A FAG!" One might as well go ahead and cut off his freaking arm and let him bleed out on the floor because no doctor is going to be "allowed" to stitch it back on. Inhumane? Of course, this is how gory the subject actually is!

This was a reply to a post at this link http://www.mancouch.com/730607594/do-men-want-to-be-daddies-anymore/?page=2&jump=1514999705&leftcmt=1#1514999705... I saw it fitting to post it here.

 

It took some time to decide how one such as myself would go about responding to this... After reading through the entire post (including the responses), I thought a good bit about how this makes me feel as an aspiring, collegiate aged north-american, husband. 

 

I understand the point of view coming from the writer of the original article. Apparently there was some deep seated emotion that brought this up, that is why we all post in blogs and forums for any given reason. Do not completely bash the situation at hand, instead, either offer advice to a situation or explain ones opposition clearly instead of saying "MEN ARE BAD" or "WOMEN ARE DEADBEATS TOO!" People making these responses are doing nothing short of stirring up an argument, odds are, These people have either guilt or the same sentiment as the original poster and did not get the total message. 

 

Let us discuss the concept of coming into parent-hood. A parent creates a child, END OF DISCUSSION. This does not mean that either parent WANTED the child. So why would this not cause problems? If two individuals decide to engage in casual sex and end up in this predicament do I personally believe that their should be some form of responsibility involved after the fact? Yes. Can I stop those men/women that make the decision otherwise? No. 

 

If the parent is being a dead beat, so what? It is the other parents responsibility to remove the individual from the equation completely. Am I saying that the other parent needs to never have contact with the child? Of course not, I never new my father growing up. I went to find him myself. He never took the time to contact me, that is his choice. 

 

I had a chain of step fathers in my life. Some good men, some bad. I basically took what I saw, raised myself and became a man. I have only ever been with the wife I am married to, take this as you will. This was my choice. I work at a job I do not like to put food on the table. Every time I have needed another job, I found one first, and I did what it required to keep it. Does this mean I was on the phone while one of her favorite movies was on tv? Of course, is this not part of being responsible for my family? 

 

The alleged divorce rate is brought up in this discussion. The primary reasoning behind this rate has been discussed many many times before. The fact at hand is this, In the western world today it is too easy to get married, one must simply show up and say WASSUP LETS DO IT!, and the opposite to get out of it. There is no responsibility toted with these decisions in our society.  If an individual is to be married, they should not be able to jump out of it at any whim. If this were the case, I guarantee, the divorce rate would be a lot smaller. 

 

Please bare with me shortly, I will be back on topic momentarily. BAD MEN? It disgusts me that certain individuals choose to talk about ALL GOOD MEN BEING GONE! Define what constitutes a good man or woman? It certain is not a large male scrotum, or an hourglass figure. It takes responsibility, this being said, it is the woman's job to go find a responsible, respectful male and stop bar hopping while wearing a miniskirt. /shrug, I dunno maybe that will fix your problems. The same can be said to all of the "DUDES" crying over the same problem... 

 

My grandfather has had four wives... NONE of them will say anything negative about him! Two cheated on him, one was a drug addict, and the current wife (currently) has made home, what it is supposed to be. He was in a bad situation, he fixed the problem. It took time, but he made his mistakes and learned from them.  This is brought up because of the fact of the men leaving home. Let us face it, when two incompatible people have a child there are going to be problems. They are not going to get along. So why put the children through hell and create a constant path of negativity for the "sake of the children?" If the parents agree that both wish to remain parents to the children, let them. if not, like stated earlier, maybe it is best for that parent to never see the child. Sometimes this is for the best. IF the other parent makes the responsible decision to find an appropriate counter-part, the child will be better off. It happens. 

 

Daddy, goes out with friends... "sigh," parents need time to themselves. People need time apart from their families. When you were in high school did there not come a time when you had to be free of yours? TRUST ME, your parents were in the same boat. I guarantee you they had sex all over the place after you left home... I just hope they did not wax the counters prior otherwise there could have been an accident... 0.o XD. This sort of thing helps everyone wind down and deal with stress related issues that can lead to parents and children doing things they might otherwise regret later. 

 

Bottom line, Just because a parent is on the phone at a game (putting money in the bank to buy food for the child) at least they were there. 
Just because a parent decides not to father/mother a child in marriage, does not mean he/she is not a daddy/mommy, trust me it was better this way, a one night stand would not have made the parents compatible.

Do the parents have responsibilities? Yes. Does it mean they have to be the ones to fill the contract... no. It is the other parents responsibility to fix the problem (this does not include drama which WILL screw up the child's life).

 

Parent-hood more often than not is forced upon those that do not want it. How does one expect them to do their job in this situation? Do you do a job properly if you like it whether you are being paid or not... I think not. 

 

In short, stop judging every situation as if it were you. Learn from what you see, forge your path, do not make the same mistakes. 

 

Source: Child from a single mother childhood, some good times, some bad times. I am who I am because of it. I am a faithfully married 22 yr old male. We have been together for 6 years. We want children but we are making the responsible decisions to avoid any possible issues later. When the time is right it will happen. 

 

Everyone, does not have this luxury.